Protecting Your Teen

On Dr. Phil the other day the topic was Sexting. Sexting is sending nude pictures via text message (using cell phones).

This topic is not just on Dr. Phil unfortunately, it's becoming a common practice among teens, 20% of teens polled in a national survey.

Besides loosing a persons reputation the teens that participate in this are also facing felony charges for being involved in child porn and being registered as a sex offender---which will never come off of their records.

Some articles written about this topic
CBS News
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/15/national/main4723161.shtml

ABC News
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/WorldNews/story?id=6456834&page=1

NBC News
http://www.nbc15online.com/mostpopular/story/What-Parents-Need-to-Know-about-Sexting/f-O-_XPiYkyUioJbN3q0ng.cspx

Fox 31 News (video)
http://www.mysouthwestga.com/news/video.aspx?id=272281

Pyramid of Personal Safety

The way to march a thousand miles
and still win the battle, is make
the other side march it.

There is no reason to live in fear of crime and violence. There is however reason to take reasonable precautions. And in doing so, you will have deterred most criminals from choosing you as their victim.

The reason is simple, there are thousands of people around who are easier and safer targets. The harder you make it for the criminal to victimize you, the more likely he is to go ply his trade elsewhere. You won't have stopped the criminal from being a criminal, but you will have stopped him from choosing you as a victim.

With this in mind, personal safety can be viewed as a pyramid. Each level not only increases your safety, but builds upon the level under it to create a cohesive and consistent whole.

To use the pyramid correctly start from the bottom and work your way up, all of these steps are in this blog.

To read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Physical self-defense

the last ditch effort. If it gets to this point through all the other levels, it has been forced here. You are justified to do what it takes to stop him. While some people choose not to participate in use of force in order to defend themselves, others have no such qualms. Either choice carries responsibilities. Physical self-defenseis not about fighting, it’s about not being hurt by violence. Nor is it about being fearless. It is not necessarily studying the martial arts nor buying a gun, it is doing what you have to do to keep from being hurt, raped, robbed or killed. And then dealing with the authorities and psychological cost afterwards

Knowing that personal safety involves all these things, we want you to think about the quote at the top of this page. The one about making your enemy march the thousand miles. In essence, the pyramid of personal safety makes it so someone else has to do all kinds of work to climb that pyramid in order to attack you. Not only is that climb difficult (and therefore makes it easier to attack someone else), but it gives you all the warning in the world to mentally prepare yourself for what you need to do in order to stay safe. The best way to stay safe is to convince the enemy that it's too much trouble to march a thousand miles and then to risk a battle he's likely to lose.

To read the entire article to go the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Verbal boundary enforcement

communication. It is letting a would-be assailant know that you are aware of what is occurring and that you are committed to doing whatever it takes to protect yourself.

This is not threatening nor blustering; it is a clear cut message for him to "get off mah land." And that failure to do so will have unpleasant results. This is being assertive, not aggressive. You are doing what it takes to get him out of your boundaries, not chasing him down the street. Before you vocalize: Know how far you are willing to go

To read the entire article to go the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Knowledge of self-worth and boundaries

essential to not becoming the victim of crime and violence. Even if you have decided that you are not willing to use physical violence to defend yourself, until this point the pyramid still works. It is however, important to realize that no matter what your decision about using physical self-defense to protect yourself, that you have come to a crossroads. A crossroads that requires mental preparation to navigate.

Aside from the obvious implications, when we use the terms knowledge of self-worth and boundaries, we also are including knowing how you think, the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness and how you are coming across.

As for self-worth, it is a commitment to yourself. It is the knowledge that neither you nor your loved ones can afford you to be victimized. It is also knowing when you are justified to tell someone to "back off" and just as importantly when to stop! Which brings us into the boundaries issue.

When you are dealing with a potential assailant, you must remember you are being confronted by a totally self-absorbed person, who is not afraid to use violence to get his way. The last thing you want to do is anger, fear fear take over or invade his space! Any of which will provoke him. If you do he is more likely to become violent. If you don’t know where to stop, you can provoke a situation that could have ended without violence.

In the same vein, you cannot hide behind avowed pacifism while still being verbally violent.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Maneuvering and positioning

knowing where you don’t want to be. There are positions from where an assailant can (and probably will) successfully attack you. If he (and his cohorts) can achieve these positions, your chances of effectively defending yourself are slim to none. And Slim left town. The violence will be swift, intense and aimed at your weak spots. Unless you are willing to commit extreme physical violence in self-defense do not allow this situation to develop. Positioning is a strategy game. It is the criminal trying to put you where he wants you and you moving so he can't.

The thing is this game is very real and very dangerous, it is however, not apparent on the surface. We have a term we use that describes this condition: "shadow dance." And that means something is going on that everybody knows is occurring, but nobody talks about it openly. Foreign embassies are prime examples of shadow dancing. On the surface, they are for diplomatic relations, commerce and to assist nationals traveling between countries. However, integral to their very foundation is spying, both the committing and preventing the host country from doing the same. So while everyone from the ambassador himself to the lowest secretary is either doing it, or has been trained to prevent it, nobody talks about it or admits it is happening. What's happening isn't innocent, but it is hidden behind a facade.

Criminals engage in shadowdancing all the time. They are pretending to be doing something else. If they blatantly display their intentions too early their "prey" will either elude them or have time to successfully defend themselves. Therefore the criminal most often tries to hide his intent until it is too late. This need for subterfuge can be turned against them however.

As they quietly try to jockey you into position, you just as quietly slip away. What are they going to say, "Hold still so I can rob you?" Criminals most often rely on their victims not knowing the "game is afoot" long before a weapon is displayed (by then it is too late). But by you knowing what the criminal needs and not letting him develop it you nonviolently protect yourself from crime and violence.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Awareness

born of a blend of habits and knowledge. One part would be knowing where a mugger would lurk in a parking garage in order not to be seen by security personnel or potential victims. Having the habit of looking around and seeing if anyone is loitering in that spot when you enter the parking structure is the other. If you see known danger signs, turn around and go back -- don’t walk into the lion’s jaws.

We have a saying "Awareness without knowledge is paranoia." The blending of knowledge of what is really involved in a crime, what certain things mean and the forewarning that your good habits will give you instill within you a calm confidence. It's like driving a car, if you pay attention and remember to do what you know about driving, you can easily avoid most accidents and problems. It is however, when you forget to do those things or get involved in other things that your car gets wrecked and you get hurt.

to read the entire article go to the following link

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Habits

actions taken daily to ensure your safety. They are simple acts you train yourself to do that significantly decrease the chances of a criminal choosing you, or your property, as his target.

They can range from remembering to enable your "walk-away" security measures (i.e., locking doors, windows and closing your drapes when you leave), never leaving your car running and unattended, to not leaving valuables in plain sight on your car seat, to looking around when you enter a fringe area or before you reach your car Such habits are not difficult to ingrain and, within a week or two, become automatic.

The reason they are effective is that they either remove items of value from sight, deny easy access or complicate things for the criminal. Moreover, they give you early warning that something is wrong. This is essential for foiling the criminal's attempt to develop his plans unnoticed and without opposition.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Walk-aways

things that you do once and just walk away from. These are security measures that, once in place, serve as both deterrents and safeguards. Generally, these are things you can do around your home or business to discourage and foil break-ins.

When done correctly, walk-aways are like an iceberg -- what is apparent above the surface serves to warn away most would-be burglars -- but the bulk is under the surface. And that hidden bulk is what will sink the burglar's ship if he doesn’t take the hint and steer clear. Criminals do not like the unexpected. Walk-aways are unexpected snags Often this unexpected resistance is enough to scare the criminal away. However, for the more determined criminal it is a hindrance that will serve to slow him down and increase the chance of him getting caught.

Walk-aways not only to keep your home safe from burglary when you are not there, but serve as an early warning system against break-in when you are home. This becomes a critical element if you are in a stalker situation as home security walk-aways are your first line of defense.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

The foundation

the pyramid stands upon is knowledge and understanding. This means knowing how the criminal and violent people think and what they need to succeed. These aren't good people gone bad, they're bad people gone worse. You also need to understand what provokes violence, what violence really is and that it comes in many different levels. Without this fundamental understanding, there can be no cohesiveness in what you do to protect yourself (and your property).

To read the entire article to go the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Self Defense Tips

The following article is from the following link
http://www.takedefense.org/tips.html

Knowledge is the best defense

When it comes to your safety, it's important to stay sharp. Here are some tips to consider. Read them through - some you may have heard, others may be new to you. Be sure to let them all soak in, and always put them into practice. They may just save your life!

WALKING

• Dress and behave in an appropriate manner for your surroundings
• Stay away from dark, deserted streets and alleys
• Walk with someone. Most attackers will be discouraged if you have company - male or female
• Stay in well-lit areas, and avoid parking close to alleys or bushes where someone could be hiding
• Stay near people. Avoid shortcuts through parks, vacant lots and other deserted places
• Hold your purse close to you, not dangling. Never set it down on store counters, restaurant seats or bus seats
• Don't accept rides with strangers. If a driver stops to ask you directions, avoid getting too close to car - you could be pulled inside
• If you're being followed by someone on foot, cross the street, act suspicious and keep looking behind you. This may discourage the follower. Vary your pace. If he persists, go to a well-lit store or home, and call the police
• If you're being followed by someone in a car, turn around and walk in the opposite direction or go up a one-way street the opposite direction. If he persists, record his license number, seek a safe location and call the police
• When you return home, have your key ready to open door without delay
• Leave your outside light on so you can easily see anyone who may be waiting for you when you return home
• Avoid talking on your cell phone. If you must be on the phone, keep your head up and be alert. Never text message while walking

HOME

• Install a peephole so you can see who is outside, and ask for identification before opening the door
• Don't advertise by leaving a note on the door saying you're not at home
• Use your last name and first initial only on your door, mail box and in the phone book
• The average predator will watch you 6-12 times before they commit their crime. Be aware of who is in your neighborhood
• Buy a big dog dish, and place it by the door. Even if you don't have a dog the idea that a big dog could be inside could work as a deterrent
• Replace the locks when you move to a new house or apartment. You don't know who has keys to the old one
• Remember, the best lock in the world is no good at all if it isn't used. Lock your doors and windows
• Draw the shades after dark, and never dress in front of windows
• Strangers should stay outside. They can go someplace else to make that phone call, or you can make it for them
• Make sure your home is well-lit, and replace burnt out light bulbs immediately
• Don't allow service workers in your home when you're not there. It's best to have more than one person at home when work is being done. Ask service companies questions concerning workers who will be entering your home. Here are some question examples: their name, length of time they have worked with the company and the last time a background check was performed on them
• Know your neighbors, especially the person who is home during the day. They serve as your eyes while you're away
• Keep personal information off of the internet. A predator only needs to know your name to determine where you live

DRIVING

• Keep your purse and other valuables out of sight - under a seat or in the glove compartment
• Always keep your windows rolled up
• Keep your doors locked at all times. Before you even fasten your seat belt, lock your doors
• When you are unlocking your car with a remote be sure to only push the unlock button once in order to only unlock the driver's door. Pressing the unlock button twice will unlock all the doors which can allow someone access to the passenger side or back seat
• Put your valuables in your locked trunk or take them with you.
• Intersections and stoplights are favorite places for potential attackers. Keep your car in gear, and if threatened, lay on your horn and drive away
• Hitchhikers shouldn't be picked up. Don't stop to help disabled drivers if you're alone. Help them by reporting them to police or service station
• If you're having car trouble, raise the hood, and stay inside with the doors locked. If strangers stop, ask them to report your predicament to nearest service station. And remember - a cell phone makes sense when you are traveling any distance alone
• If you're being followed don't drive into your driveway or attempt to leave your car. Drive to the nearest police station or open business for help
• If another driver is forcing you to a curb, don't allow it and keep driving. Write down their license number, the car and driver's description, and report the incident to police immediately
• When parking your car, park in areas that will be well-lit when you return to your car. Be sure to lock your doors. Check when you return to make sure no one is hiding in your car. Avoid parking next to vans as you could be pulled into the vehicle through the sliding door
• Never leave keys to your home on your key ring when your car is left with a valet or at a service station

For further information about T.A.K.E. self defense classes go to the following link
http://www.takedefense.org/index.html