Showing posts with label self confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self confidence. Show all posts

Thursday, June 17, 2010

June Seminar

Organization: Relief Society and Young Women
Place: Lockport Ward Hamm Road, Lockport NY
Subject: Self Defense

"Good lesson in self defense--done in a tactful way. Thank you."

"Many good examples given"

"Thank you for the techniques you taught, they were simple to learn--good job."

"Good job! Very understandable--I hope I never have to use it."

"It was a very good seminar, I enjoyed it a great deal."

"It was a very interesting class and I will remember what you taught us. We love you."

"Very useful. I learned a lot."

"I loved it!!"

"Very impressive!!."

"Excellent!!! Every one needs to learn this information. It was very Enlightening!!! God Job!!!!"

"Super Class"

"The moves you taught seemed simple and very effective. The class gave me more confidence. I loved the quotes that you used--they were very empowering."

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

WHY PORTRAYING SELF CONFIDENCE IS IMPORTANT

A good number of women who are attacked are chosen because of the way they presented themselves. Something about their posture told the assailant, “here is a weak woman, I can take her”. If you are scared out of your gourd, it will show.

Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders; head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks like walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in martial arts are less likely to ever be attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.

Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place, mall, grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the number of people who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re communicating that you are not afraid. You’re not sending nonverbal clues that you lack confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort to determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly looking people head on in the eyes.

Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those arms that are locked across your chest. Not only does it look stronger and friendlier to have open arms, it’s safer. Should the need arise that you need to thwart off a would-be attacker; you’re going to need your arms to free yourself. How easy it is for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms are tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you poke out eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the ribs if your arms are hugging yourself.

“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do about that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how to not be afraid. The other and immediate method to change how you project yourself is to fake it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the allusion that you are not a weak prey.

Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it.

Written by Emily Clark
To read the entire artcile please go to the following web site http://www.selfdefenseresource.com/women/articles/confidence.php

Friday, May 22, 2009

Environment

Always be aware of your environment. Make sure that you don't have any distractions.

The other day I was watching a woman walking near the local University. She had an ipod in her ear, and a cell phone on her other ear. She was looking down while walking also.

One of the higher locations of occurrence of attacks for women are universities, hospitals, and malls.

This woman had too many distractions while walking at a high concurrence location. What advice would I give this woman or any woman walking on a university? 1) don't walk alone during lite hours---when there aren't many people around, 2) never wear an ipod, you can't hear what's going around you. 3) keep your cell phone away unless you are in immediate danger, again it takes your attention from the environment. 4) look up while you are walking. Walk with self confidence, even if you have to pretent you have cofidence. Look at every one in the eye when walking past them and say hello casially. By looking at the person you will be able to identify them. Would be attackers are looking for victims---victims aren't people who walk with cofidence. By saying hello you have also made yourself human in the other persons eyes--the would be attacker doesn't look at their victims as humans but as prey.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pyramid of Personal Safety

The way to march a thousand miles
and still win the battle, is make
the other side march it.

There is no reason to live in fear of crime and violence. There is however reason to take reasonable precautions. And in doing so, you will have deterred most criminals from choosing you as their victim.

The reason is simple, there are thousands of people around who are easier and safer targets. The harder you make it for the criminal to victimize you, the more likely he is to go ply his trade elsewhere. You won't have stopped the criminal from being a criminal, but you will have stopped him from choosing you as a victim.

With this in mind, personal safety can be viewed as a pyramid. Each level not only increases your safety, but builds upon the level under it to create a cohesive and consistent whole.

To use the pyramid correctly start from the bottom and work your way up, all of these steps are in this blog.

To read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Physical self-defense

the last ditch effort. If it gets to this point through all the other levels, it has been forced here. You are justified to do what it takes to stop him. While some people choose not to participate in use of force in order to defend themselves, others have no such qualms. Either choice carries responsibilities. Physical self-defenseis not about fighting, it’s about not being hurt by violence. Nor is it about being fearless. It is not necessarily studying the martial arts nor buying a gun, it is doing what you have to do to keep from being hurt, raped, robbed or killed. And then dealing with the authorities and psychological cost afterwards

Knowing that personal safety involves all these things, we want you to think about the quote at the top of this page. The one about making your enemy march the thousand miles. In essence, the pyramid of personal safety makes it so someone else has to do all kinds of work to climb that pyramid in order to attack you. Not only is that climb difficult (and therefore makes it easier to attack someone else), but it gives you all the warning in the world to mentally prepare yourself for what you need to do in order to stay safe. The best way to stay safe is to convince the enemy that it's too much trouble to march a thousand miles and then to risk a battle he's likely to lose.

To read the entire article to go the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Verbal boundary enforcement

communication. It is letting a would-be assailant know that you are aware of what is occurring and that you are committed to doing whatever it takes to protect yourself.

This is not threatening nor blustering; it is a clear cut message for him to "get off mah land." And that failure to do so will have unpleasant results. This is being assertive, not aggressive. You are doing what it takes to get him out of your boundaries, not chasing him down the street. Before you vocalize: Know how far you are willing to go

To read the entire article to go the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Maneuvering and positioning

knowing where you don’t want to be. There are positions from where an assailant can (and probably will) successfully attack you. If he (and his cohorts) can achieve these positions, your chances of effectively defending yourself are slim to none. And Slim left town. The violence will be swift, intense and aimed at your weak spots. Unless you are willing to commit extreme physical violence in self-defense do not allow this situation to develop. Positioning is a strategy game. It is the criminal trying to put you where he wants you and you moving so he can't.

The thing is this game is very real and very dangerous, it is however, not apparent on the surface. We have a term we use that describes this condition: "shadow dance." And that means something is going on that everybody knows is occurring, but nobody talks about it openly. Foreign embassies are prime examples of shadow dancing. On the surface, they are for diplomatic relations, commerce and to assist nationals traveling between countries. However, integral to their very foundation is spying, both the committing and preventing the host country from doing the same. So while everyone from the ambassador himself to the lowest secretary is either doing it, or has been trained to prevent it, nobody talks about it or admits it is happening. What's happening isn't innocent, but it is hidden behind a facade.

Criminals engage in shadowdancing all the time. They are pretending to be doing something else. If they blatantly display their intentions too early their "prey" will either elude them or have time to successfully defend themselves. Therefore the criminal most often tries to hide his intent until it is too late. This need for subterfuge can be turned against them however.

As they quietly try to jockey you into position, you just as quietly slip away. What are they going to say, "Hold still so I can rob you?" Criminals most often rely on their victims not knowing the "game is afoot" long before a weapon is displayed (by then it is too late). But by you knowing what the criminal needs and not letting him develop it you nonviolently protect yourself from crime and violence.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Awareness

born of a blend of habits and knowledge. One part would be knowing where a mugger would lurk in a parking garage in order not to be seen by security personnel or potential victims. Having the habit of looking around and seeing if anyone is loitering in that spot when you enter the parking structure is the other. If you see known danger signs, turn around and go back -- don’t walk into the lion’s jaws.

We have a saying "Awareness without knowledge is paranoia." The blending of knowledge of what is really involved in a crime, what certain things mean and the forewarning that your good habits will give you instill within you a calm confidence. It's like driving a car, if you pay attention and remember to do what you know about driving, you can easily avoid most accidents and problems. It is however, when you forget to do those things or get involved in other things that your car gets wrecked and you get hurt.

to read the entire article go to the following link

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Habits

actions taken daily to ensure your safety. They are simple acts you train yourself to do that significantly decrease the chances of a criminal choosing you, or your property, as his target.

They can range from remembering to enable your "walk-away" security measures (i.e., locking doors, windows and closing your drapes when you leave), never leaving your car running and unattended, to not leaving valuables in plain sight on your car seat, to looking around when you enter a fringe area or before you reach your car Such habits are not difficult to ingrain and, within a week or two, become automatic.

The reason they are effective is that they either remove items of value from sight, deny easy access or complicate things for the criminal. Moreover, they give you early warning that something is wrong. This is essential for foiling the criminal's attempt to develop his plans unnoticed and without opposition.

to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Walk-aways

things that you do once and just walk away from. These are security measures that, once in place, serve as both deterrents and safeguards. Generally, these are things you can do around your home or business to discourage and foil break-ins.

When done correctly, walk-aways are like an iceberg -- what is apparent above the surface serves to warn away most would-be burglars -- but the bulk is under the surface. And that hidden bulk is what will sink the burglar's ship if he doesn’t take the hint and steer clear. Criminals do not like the unexpected. Walk-aways are unexpected snags Often this unexpected resistance is enough to scare the criminal away. However, for the more determined criminal it is a hindrance that will serve to slow him down and increase the chance of him getting caught.

Walk-aways not only to keep your home safe from burglary when you are not there, but serve as an early warning system against break-in when you are home. This becomes a critical element if you are in a stalker situation as home security walk-aways are your first line of defense.



to read the entire article go to the following link
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/pyramid.html

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Self Defense Tips

The following article is from the following link
http://www.takedefense.org/tips.html

Knowledge is the best defense

When it comes to your safety, it's important to stay sharp. Here are some tips to consider. Read them through - some you may have heard, others may be new to you. Be sure to let them all soak in, and always put them into practice. They may just save your life!

WALKING

  • Dress and behave in an appropriate manner for your surroundings
  • Stay away from dark, deserted streets and alleys
  • Walk with someone. Most attackers will be discouraged if you have company - male or female
  • Stay in well-lit areas, and avoid parking close to alleys or bushes where someone could be hiding
  • Stay near people. Avoid shortcuts through parks, vacant lots and other deserted places
  • Hold your purse close to you, not dangling. Never set it down on store counters, restaurant seats or bus seats
  • Don't accept rides with strangers. If a driver stops to ask you directions, avoid getting too close to car - you could be pulled inside
  • If you're being followed by someone on foot, cross the street, act suspicious and keep looking behind you. This may discourage the follower. Vary your pace. If he persists, go to a well-lit store or home, and call the police
  • If you're being followed by someone in a car, turn around and walk in the opposite direction or go up a one-way street the opposite direction. If he persists, record his license number, seek a safe location and call the police
  • When you return home, have your key ready to open door without delay
  • Leave your outside light on so you can easily see anyone who may be waiting for you when you return home
  • Avoid talking on your cell phone. If you must be on the phone, keep your head up and be alert. Never text message while walking
HOME
  • Install a peephole so you can see who is outside, and ask for identification before opening the door
  • Don't advertise by leaving a note on the door saying you're not at home
  • Use your last name and first initial only on your door, mail box and in the phone book
  • The average predator will watch you 6-12 times before they commit their crime. Be aware of who is in your neighborhood
  • Buy a big dog dish, and place it by the door. Even if you don't have a dog the idea that a big dog could be inside could work as a deterrent
  • Replace the locks when you move to a new house or apartment. You don't know who has keys to the old one
  • Remember, the best lock in the world is no good at all if it isn't used. Lock your doors and windows
  • Draw the shades after dark, and never dress in front of windows
  • Strangers should stay outside. They can go someplace else to make that phone call, or you can make it for them
  • Make sure your home is well-lit, and replace burnt out light bulbs immediately
  • Don't allow service workers in your home when you're not there. It's best to have more than one person at home when work is being done. Ask service companies questions concerning workers who will be entering your home. Here are some question examples: their name, length of time they have worked with the company and the last time a background check was performed on them
  • Know your neighbors, especially the person who is home during the day. They serve as your eyes while you're away
  • Keep personal information off of the internet. A predator only needs to know your name to determine where you live

DRIVING

  • Keep your purse and other valuables out of sight - under a seat or in the glove compartment
  • Always keep your windows rolled up
  • Keep your doors locked at all times. Before you even fasten your seat belt, lock your doors
  • When you are unlocking your car with a remote be sure to only push the unlock button once in order to only unlock the driver's door. Pressing the unlock button twice will unlock all the doors which can allow someone access to the passenger side or back seat
  • Put your valuables in your locked trunk or take them with you.
  • Intersections and stoplights are favorite places for potential attackers. Keep your car in gear, and if threatened, lay on your horn and drive away
  • Hitchhikers shouldn't be picked up. Don't stop to help disabled drivers if you're alone. Help them by reporting them to police or service station
  • If you're having car trouble, raise the hood, and stay inside with the doors locked. If strangers stop, ask them to report your predicament to nearest service station. And remember - a cell phone makes sense when you are traveling any distance alone
  • If you're being followed don't drive into your driveway or attempt to leave your car. Drive to the nearest police station or open business for help
  • If another driver is forcing you to a curb, don't allow it and keep driving. Write down their license number, the car and driver's description, and report the incident to police immediately
  • When parking your car, park in areas that will be well-lit when you return to your car. Be sure to lock your doors. Check when you return to make sure no one is hiding in your car. Avoid parking next to vans as you could be pulled into the vehicle through the sliding door
  • Never leave keys to your home on your key ring when your car is left with a valet or at a service station
For further information about T.A.K.E. self defense classes go to the following link
http://www.takedefense.org/index.html

Monday, March 30, 2009

Protecting Yourself

...Putnam Police Chief Rick Hayes said he wanted to reach out to the community and offer the program to women interested in learning to protect themselves.

“I was hoping it would help women be able to gain some self-esteem and get the empowerment to feel like they don’t have to be a victim,” he said, noting that attacks haven’t been a major issue in Putnam.

...“Society teaches women to be caregivers, friendly and helpful, not rude,” she said. “We don’t want to think bad of anybody.”...

...Lisa Salvas, 43, a mother of two from Putnam, heard about the class from a friend. They decided to take the class together.

“I want to be able to protect my children,” she said...

...The “Bullet man,” David Salisbury, has been practicing martial arts for 17 years and says the biggest mistake people make is getting themselves into a situation of being a victim in the first place.

“Men, women and children need to listen to their instincts and act on them,” he said.

Duthorne says she hopes women get two things out of the class.

“I want to make sure they aren’t chosen as a victim,” she said. “If they are chosen, I hope they have the warrior spirit to defend themselves.”....

To read the entire article go to the following linkhttp://www.norwichbulletin.com/news/x180615793/Women-offered-self-defense-course

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

3 POWERFUL WAYS TO PORTRAY CONFIDENCE AND SUCCESS

"Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders; head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks like walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in martial arts are less likely to ever be attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.

Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place, mall, grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the number of people who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re communicating that you are not afraid. You’re not sending nonverbal clues that you lack confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort to determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly looking people head on in the eyes.

Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those arms that are locked across your chest. Not only does it look stronger and friendlier to have open arms, it’s safer. Should the need arise that you need to thwart off a would-be attacker; you’re going to need your arms to free yourself. How easy it is for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms are tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you poke out eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the ribs if your arms are hugging yourself.

“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do about that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how to not be afraid. The other and immediate method to change how you project yourself is to fake it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the allusion that you are not a weak prey.

Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it."

To read the this entire article go to the following link http://www.selfdefenseresource.com/women/articles/confidence.php